Degenerate Nation

The Handjobmobile

In an effort to symbolically castrate its potential customers, the Nissan Corporation proudly unveiled its latest auto abortion:  “The Leaf”, an electric turd valued at $10,000 US dollars. 
 
So let’s get this straight.  For $10,000, I can tool around in a baby blue shitbox that I have to PLUG IN?  A glorified matchbox car that won’t even [...]

 In eager anticipation of the 2009 football season, my 13-year-old Cousin Danny and I conducted Degenerate Nation’s 1st annual Mock Fantasy Football Draft.
We created 12 team names, following the standard fantasy football tradition of being as crude, immature, and blissfully inhumane as possible.  After naming the teams, we wrote them down on slips of paper and drew [...]

Being the Dear Leader is pretty sweet, I must say. I can have anything I want. But what I’m really looking for is intimacy. Specifically the type of intimacy involving my penis, and your vagina.

Forget hookers, or Craigs List’s “Casual Encounters” page. Real ballers get themselves kicked out of their house, then fly down to Argentina to bang it out on Father’s Day weekend, with their caliente Argentinian mistress. BALLIN’!

Degenerate Nation strongly encourages you to RUB ZEOLI’s sizable crystal BALLS together for an up-to-date preview of how your NCAA Tournament bracket might look if the season ended today.
But first, you might be be asking:   “Why are you doing this, Zeoli?”
Why?    It’s simple:
1.  I am obsessed with March Madness.
2.  Joe Lunardi (ESPN’s “Bracketologist”) is an inaccurate TOOL.
3.   [...]

Welcome to the First Edition of a Degenerate Nation staple:  “Degenerate of the Week”.   Every Friday, we will announce that week’s most accomplished degenerate, with the help of your votes!
And now, Degenerate Nation is proud to present our first ever Degenerate of the Week:           ALFIE PATTEN, 13-Year-Old Father!
A father at 13?  Welcome to Fucked-for-Life-Ville, Population: You [...]