Degenerate Nation

 In eager anticipation of the 2009 football season, my 13-year-old Cousin Danny and I conducted Degenerate Nation’s 1st annual Mock Fantasy Football Draft.
We created 12 team names, following the standard fantasy football tradition of being as crude, immature, and blissfully inhumane as possible.  After naming the teams, we wrote them down on slips of paper and drew [...]

Attention Auburn fans: it doesn’t count as a shaft if you don’t schedule anybody tough in nonconference, and play in an unbelievably down SEC. Tough shit, Tigers. You want in? Get to the championship game of the SEC Tournament, or pick up Charles Barkley, fresh out of the drunk tank, and see if you can bribe the NCAA into giving him another month of eligibility.

Degenerate Nation strongly encourages you to RUB ZEOLI’s sizable, prognosticative crystal BALLS together for an up-to-date preview of how your NCAA Tournament bracket might look if the season ended today.
But first, you might be be asking:   “Why are you doing this, Zeoli?”
Why?    It’s simple:
1.  I am obsessed with March Madness.
2.  Joe Lunardi (ESPN’s “Bracketologist”) is an inaccurate TOOL.
3.   [...]

 
Degenerate Nation strongly encourages you to RUB ZEOLI’s sizable crystal BALLS together for an up-to-date preview of how your NCAA Tournament bracket might look if the season ended today.
But first, you might be be asking:   “Why are you doing this, Zeoli?”
Why?    It’s simple:
1.  I am obsessed with March Madness.
2.  Joe Lunardi (ESPN’s “Bracketologist”) is an inaccurate TOOL.
3.   [...]

Degenerate Nation strongly encourages you to RUB ZEOLI’s sizable crystal BALLS together for an up-to-date preview of how your NCAA Tournament bracket might look if the season ended today.
But first, you might be be asking:   “Why are you doing this, Zeoli?”
Why?    It’s simple:
1.  I am obsessed with March Madness.
2.  Joe Lunardi (ESPN’s “Bracketologist”) is an inaccurate TOOL.
3.   [...]

You’ll probably see Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson blubbering about this on Larry King soon enough, so I should just throw this out there now:
I beat the ever-lasting Christ out of a black man.
At basketball.
And by man… I mean teenager.
And shorter than me.
And probably not fully developed.
But still… unequivocably black.  Black as midnight.  And I [...]

The following is a running diary of Game 2 of the Cubs-Dodgers NLDS, from the 2008 playoffs, originally published on a bullshit site I used to right for (as opposed to this semi-bullshit one which I OWN).  Warning:  Do not read with a dull razor present…    

REQUIEM FOR A CUBS FAN:
Cubs-Dodgers, Game 2 Diary
  

I am living in absolute fear and [...]

GO FOR THE GOLD!!!

Degenerate Nation proudly presents a new series,

“Degenerate Face-Off” - where two degenerates
debate the critical issues facing our festering sore of a Society

Scumbags and Scum-ettes, please welcome today’s debaters:
THOMAS T. MENSTURAL -   47, seething American, hardworking (when he’s not playing Bejeweled or watching “According to Jim” on Hulu) father of two extremely white, poorly adjusted children.
PRESTON [...]

Degenerate Diary Presents:
“STUPOR BOWL ‘09″
The following is a drunken, sleazy, running diary of Super Bowl 43, (edited for coherency)…compiled live from my unemployed buddy’s basement apartment in Washington, D.C. ….
4:02 PM -      Just cracked open my first beer.  Well, if you can classify Bud Light as “beer”.  What does my first of many taste like?    Watered-down detest of [...]