Degenerate Nation

Degenerate Nation strongly encourages you to RUB ZEOLI’s sizable crystal BALLS together for an up-to-date preview of how your NCAA Tournament bracket might look if the season ended today.

But first, you might be be asking:   “Why are you doing this, Zeoli?”

Why?    It’s simple:

1.  I am obsessed with March Madness.

2.  Joe Lunardi (ESPN’s “Bracketologist”) is an inaccurate TOOL.

3.   I don’t have a girlfriend.

4.   RPI rankings are easier to browse through than 4-minute blowjob videos on YouPorn with Windows Vista.   Goodbye naked amateurs, Hello Statistics!

Once again, let’s skip the foreplay and dive right into the all-out, hypothetical Madness!!!!

HYPOTHETICAL MADNESS BRACKET -  VOLUME III

#1 Seeds (ranked overall, and divided by region):

• 1.     Connecticut   -  EAST  (Boston)
• 2.     North Carolina  -  SOUTH  (Memphis)
• 3.     Pittsburgh  -   MIDWEST   (Indianapolis)
• 4.     Michigan State   -   WEST  (Arizona)

Final 4 Pairings:     EAST vs.  WEST;   SOUTH vs.  MIDWEST

“Living on a Prayer”: Last Teams In

• South Carolina [11]
• Texas A&M [12]
• Providence [12]
• UNLV [11]
• New Mexico [12]

Bubble Burst:     First Teams Out

• Maryland [18-11]
• Michigan (18-12)
• Florida (21-9)
• Rhode Island (22-8)
• San Diego State (19-8)

Woulda-Should-Coulda:    Next Teams Out

• Virginia Tech (17-11)
• Northwestern (17-11)
• Kentucky (19-11)
• Cincinnati (18-12)
• Kansas State (20-10)

Multi-Bid Conference Breakdown:

• Big East:    8 -    (Connecticut [1], Pittsburgh [1], Louisville [2], Villanova [3], Marquette [6], West Virginia [6], Syracuse [7], Providence [12])
• Big 10:        7 -    (Michigan State [1], Illinois [5], Purdue [6], Illinois [5], Minnesota [8], Wisconsin [9], Penn State [10], Ohio State [10])
• ACC:           6 -    (North Carolina [1], Duke [2], Wake Forest [3], Clemson [5], Florida State [5], Boston College [9])
• Big 12:       6 -   (Oklahoma [2], Kansas [3], Missouri [3], Texas [7], Oklahoma State [9], Texas A&M [12])
• Pac-10:      5 -   (Washington [3], UCLA [4], Arizona State [6], California [8], Arizona [10])
• SEC:            4 -   (LSU [4], Tennessee [8], South Carolina [11])
• Mountain West:     3 -   (Utah [7], BYU [8], UNLV [12], New Mexico [12])
• Atlantic 10:            2 -    (Xavier [5], Dayton [10])
• WCC:           2 -   (Gonzaga [6], Saint Mary’s [11])

That’s all for Volume III.    Check back Thursday night for Volume IV.  And comment your brains out on why your favorite crappy team got the shaft.  Maryland fans, now’s your time to shine.  A win against the hapless Virginia Cavaliers this weekend, and you’re knocking on the door again.  But it doesn’t matter.  Because nobody actually “Fears the Turtle”.  More like pities.     

COUNTDOWN TO MARCH MADNESS:     14 days!!!