Degenerate Nation

Degenerate Nation strongly encourages you to RUB ZEOLI’s sizable crystal BALLS together for an up-to-date preview of how your NCAA Tournament bracket might look if the season ended today.

But first, you might be be asking:   “Why are you doing this, Zeoli?”

Why?    It’s simple:

1.  I am obsessed with March Madness.

2.  Joe Lunardi (ESPN’s “Bracketologist”) is an inaccurate TOOL.

3.   I don’t have a girlfriend.

4.   RPI rankings are easier to browse through than 4-minute blowjob videos on YouPorn with Windows Vista.   Goodbye naked amateurs, Hello Statistics!

Once again, let’s skip the foreplay and dive right into the all-out, hypothetical Madness!!!!

HYPOTHETICAL MADNESS BRACKET -  VOLUME II

#1 Seeds (ranked overall, and divided by region):

• 1.     Connecticut   -  EAST  (Boston)
• 2.     North Carolina  -  SOUTH  (Memphis)
• 3.     Pittsburgh  -   MIDWEST   (Indianapolis)
• 4.     Oklahoma   -   WEST  (Arizona)

Final 4 Pairings:     EAST vs.  WEST;   SOUTH vs.  MIDWEST

“Living on a Prayer”: Last Teams In

• South Carolina [11]
• Ohio State [11]
• Texas A&M [11]
• Providence [12]
• UNLV [12]

Bubble Burst:     First Teams Out

• Florida (21-8)
• Michigan (18-12)
• Virginia Tech (17-11)
• Cincinnati (18-11)
• Miami FL (17-10)

Woulda-Should-Coulda:    Next Teams Out

• Kentucky (19-10)
• Rhode Island (22-8)
• San Diego State (19-8)
• UAB (20-9)
• Kansas State (19-9)

Multi-Bid Conference Breakdown:

• Big East:    8 -    (Connecticut [1], Pittsburgh [1], Louisville [2], Villanova [3], Marquette [5], West Virginia [7], Syracuse [7], Providence [12])
• Big 10:        7 -    (Michigan State [2], Purdue [4], Illinois [5], Wisconsin [8], Minnesota [9], Penn State [10], Ohio State [11])
• ACC:           7 -    (North Carolina [1], Duke [2], Wake Forest [3], Clemson [5], Florida State [5], Boston College [9], Maryland [10])
• Big 12:       6 -   (Oklahoma [1], Kansas [3], Missouri [4], Texas [7], Oklahoma State [11], Texas A&M [11])
• Pac-10:      5 -   (Washington [3], UCLA [4], Arizona State [6], California [8], Arizona [10])
• SEC:            4 -   (LSU [4], Tennessee [8], South Carolina [11])
• Mountain West:     3 -   (Utah [6], BYU [8], UNLV [12])
• Atlantic 10:            2 -    (Xavier [6], Dayton [10])
• WCC:           2 -   (Gonzaga [6], Saint Mary’s [9])

That’s all for Volume II.    Check back Wednesday night for Volume III.  And comment your brains out on why your favorite crappy team got the shaft.  Florida fans, this does not mean you.  You have to be able to hold your home court in a must-win game to even be eligible for a shaft.  And guess what?   Joaquim Noah is NOT walking through that door.  Al Horford is NOT walking through that door!  (A little Pitino reference for Pitino’s disciple to suck on).

COUNTDOWN TO MARCH MADNESS:     17 days!!!