Degenerate Nation

 
Every Friday, we will announce the week’s most accomplished degenerate, with help from our loyal asshole readers!  To nominate someone for Degenerate of the Week, e-mail us at:    degeneratenation@gmail.com,   with the subject line:  “Degenerate of the Week”
 
Douches and Douchettes,
 
I apologize profusely for the delay in naming Week 2’s Degenerate of the Week.   My screenwriting partner bolted for LA yesterday, [...]

Degenerate Nation strongly encourages you to RUB ZEOLI’s sizable crystal BALLS together for an up-to-date preview of how your NCAA Tournament bracket might look if the season ended today.
But first, you might be be asking:   “Why are you doing this, Zeoli?”
Why?    It’s simple:
1.  I am obsessed with March Madness.
2.  Joe Lunardi (ESPN’s “Bracketologist”) is an inaccurate TOOL.
3.   [...]

Dear Girl-at-Job-that-I-Interviewed-For-But-Didn’t-Get,
Hey!  Remember me?  I came into your office for a job interview yesterday.  You were part of the guantlet of employees I had to meet during the exhaustingly hopeless interview process.  You have blonde hair, big boobs, and will bear my children.  Please tell me you remember me!
You sauntered into the office, along with that [...]

You’ll probably see Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson blubbering about this on Larry King soon enough, so I should just throw this out there now:
I beat the ever-lasting Christ out of a black man.
At basketball.
And by man… I mean teenager.
And shorter than me.
And probably not fully developed.
But still… unequivocably black.  Black as midnight.  And I [...]

Welcome to the First Edition of a Degenerate Nation staple:  “Degenerate of the Week”.   Every Friday, we will announce that week’s most accomplished degenerate, with the help of your votes!
And now, Degenerate Nation is proud to present our first ever Degenerate of the Week:           ALFIE PATTEN, 13-Year-Old Father!
A father at 13?  Welcome to Fucked-for-Life-Ville, Population: You [...]

The following is a running diary of Game 2 of the Cubs-Dodgers NLDS, from the 2008 playoffs, originally published on a bullshit site I used to right for (as opposed to this semi-bullshit one which I OWN).  Warning:  Do not read with a dull razor present…    

REQUIEM FOR A CUBS FAN:
Cubs-Dodgers, Game 2 Diary
  

I am living in absolute fear and [...]

HELL YEAH!!!

So, I was searching through an e-mail, hoping to find a Facebook friend request from someone I never once hung out with in high school, or an exclusive invitation to help out a wealthy Nigerian diplomat by giving him my banking information, when I stumbled upon something even better:  a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to check out BLACK [...]

GO FOR THE GOLD!!!

Degenerate Nation proudly presents a new series,

“Degenerate Face-Off” - where two degenerates
debate the critical issues facing our festering sore of a Society

Scumbags and Scum-ettes, please welcome today’s debaters:
THOMAS T. MENSTURAL -   47, seething American, hardworking (when he’s not playing Bejeweled or watching “According to Jim” on Hulu) father of two extremely white, poorly adjusted children.
PRESTON [...]

Degenerate Diary Presents:
“STUPOR BOWL ‘09″
The following is a drunken, sleazy, running diary of Super Bowl 43, (edited for coherency)…compiled live from my unemployed buddy’s basement apartment in Washington, D.C. ….
4:02 PM -      Just cracked open my first beer.  Well, if you can classify Bud Light as “beer”.  What does my first of many taste like?    Watered-down detest of [...]