Degenerate Nation welcomes its newest Contributor, the esteemed rapper and proud American, Skeet East (@SkeetEast), with his evisceration of the America-hating comedian and star of crappy movies, Chris Rock:
What up, Degenerates? I’m Skeet East. Hip-hop phenom, children’s author, poet, lover. I’m that nigga. Y’all ain’t know me, learn the fuck up. I got a Wikipedia page, full up as fuck. You don’t. Study up, nigga.
I woke up this afternoon, without no bitch in my bed, cuz I don’t want no bitches fuckin’ with my holiday. Holidays is for reflection, and today is the most meaningful motherfuckin’ holiday of all. America Day. 4th of July, son! And I don’t know how the rest of you run yo’ shit, but what I like to do on America Day is get blunted, play with my mountain lion, Cheetarah (Yeah, that’s right, I got me a motherfuckin’ mountain lion. That nigga’s my pet, exotic as fuck. You sell records, you get a god damn jungle beast. Baller shit); I’ma pet that bitch all day, eat up on some steak and greens, drink on some Courvosier from my chalice, play that Lee Greenwood ish on a loop, watch some motherfuckin’ fireworks, and reflect, mang.
But I ain’t do all that today, cuz shit got real. Chris Rock had to run his bitch mouth on Twitter:
“Happy white peoples Independence Day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks” - Chris Rock [@chrisrock]
Now, I ain’t no Chris Brown. Ain’t no mix tape nigga. Ain’t gonna get my boys to throw bottles at his boys up in the club, injure some bystanding NBA niggas gettin’ their grind on in the process. But you talk shit about my country, my America, on its motherfuckin’ birthday, best believe I’ma besmirch you on this fledgling web site.
Go voice a zebra getting fucked in the ass by George Washington, you loud-ass, say-nothing motherfucker. You don’t like America, step off. You got that mad money, move to Madagascar. See how many people come walking out of the jungle to see your comedy shows when you can’t make fun of white people, cuz they ain’t no motherfuckin’ white people in Madagascar.
America made you rich, son! So why you shittin’ on my country on god damn America Day, of all days? Talkin’ about slavery. Yeah, America had slaves. And yeah, the slaves here were all blacks. But just about every civilization in motherfuckin’ history had slaves. And some of them Africans way back was selling off other tribes to slave traders. Niggas selling niggas. None of that makes it right, but how would you rather have it? You want to erase history and be up in Africa, click-clacking and fucking bitches with bowls hanging off their lips?
I know you live in some big ass house, livin’ rich. Got a nice family, all that shit. And guess what, homey? You wouldn’t have none of that bourgeois shit, no spacious shelter, no family, no DVD sales and residual checks, if America didn’t exist. If them wig-wearing gangsta-ass chalkies didn’t dump no tea in no harbor, get strapped, and fight off those English redcoat motherfuckers. It was like the original turf war, and we won that shit. America, son!
So maybe you need to step away from the Twitter, son. Chill on that shit, put your Iphone away, play with your kids, eat up on some motherfuckin’ hot dogs and slaw. Live your beautiful AMERICAN life, and reflect on that shit.
Put on that rousing anthem by Lee Greenwood, that sexual motherfucker. Think about his smooth voice, dripping with patriotism. That man looking so fine, he ought to be all up on our money, No Homo. Only America could inspire a man as potent, as talented, an archetype of MAN, to pen a song as epic as “God Bless the USA”.
I thank my lucky stars
To be living here today
Cause the flag still stands for freedom
And you can’t take that away
That shit gets me hard!!!
Fuck Chris Rock. Lincoln emancipated errrrybody, MLK and his peeps dreamed up that Next Level Freedom shit, and we even got a black president. And you rich as fuck, dude! So what’s your motherfuckin’ beef with America? You got beef, don’t tweet. Act.
I give half of my children’s book money to inner city youth, so they can gets Ipods and listen to Lee Greenwood, and my shit, and eat up on some fruits and vegetables, and not all that dollar menu shit that gets pumped into the ‘hood, like that rock. But what do you do? You want a better America, show me something, nigga. I know you got the money and the hype to be Black Bono, for America. So be that shit.
And yeah, America ain’t perfect. I know that. But you don’t tell a fat bitch not to eat cake on her birthday, so why you hating on America on America’s birthday? Bottom line, Rock. Shady racial history or not, America is the greatest motherfuckin’ country on Earth. We the G.O.A.T. in the universe. And if ballin’ ass niggas like you and me use our power and influence for good, it always will be. And besides, yo, if Africa was so great, Lee Greenwood would have a whole motherfuckin’ album about it. But instead, it’s just warlords, death, and misery. Forever and always. You want to build a bridge to that, go ahead.
You need to recognize, Rock. They ain’t go not CW in Africa, so nobody can watch yo’ shit. And it wouldn’t be no “Everybody Hates Chris”. It’d be “Errrybody Got AIDS”. Make another shitty movie and shut up, clown. AMERICA, son! Peace.